"Jeb Bush Doesn't Care About Black People" Says Kanye West

Sunday, Feb. 22, 2015 by G. Fish

Earlier today, John Ellis "Jeb" Bush (R) clarified many of his positions on several hot-button issues in a surprise speech at a small town hall convention in Marfa, Texas.

A potential candidate for the Republican nominee for President in 2016, Bush has been making grassroots efforts to establish his own identity independent of his family's political dynasty.
He focused mainly on abortion today, saying that he believes the termination of an unborn fetus is "tantamount to murder in every case" and intended to bring back to politics the kind of family values "you can't get rid of at an abortion clinic."

 Going further, Bush made striking claims about the relationship between child, parent, and property, but not before reaching below the podium to drink from a bottle of water to clear his throat. Taking a few generous swills, a political aid--Ms. Sandra Bullock (not that one)--attempted to requisition the bottle from him, spilling what this reporter can only describe as the cheapest peppermint schnapps you can buy on your way to Marfa.

 "After it's born, fuck it," continued Bush. "It's your baby, your property, and I honestly haven't thought much past that," Bush told CBNN. When asked about the logic behind his beliefs, he went on to say, "I haven't cared about anything less since the minority issue."

 It was in this moment that rapper Kanye West took the stage and wrenched the microphone from the flabbergasted Bush and sternly uttered at an even more flabbergasted crowd, "Jeb Bush doesn't care about black people."

By all means, all gasts were thoroughly flabbered.

West, charged but not violent, was immediately escorted from the premises. CBNN caught up with Mr. West outside the combination barn/art studio/combine in which the meeting was being held, who had this to say: "I told y'all, I TOLD you. Straight from the man's mouth! Wrong Bush, same species." When asked about why he was in Marfa and how he knew the former governor of Florida would be speaking there, he mumbled off something dismissive about "next level shit" as he ghost-rode his whip "out of this goddamned, racist, hodunk motherfuckin place. Their Prada was a fucking ghost town."